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Being a Woman in a Confused World

Updated: Feb 27, 2023

Being a Woman in a Confused World

I celebrated the latest appointment to the Supreme Court of the United States of America — that of the first African American woman, Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. The advancement of women in our world is honored by such breakthroughs. During the confirmation hearings prior to her appointment, she was asked more than once to “define the term woman.” She declined to answer by saying, “I’m not a biologist.”

She is a strong powerful and clever woman. Why the lack of clarity about the amazing nature of being a woman? I was so sad because her reply denied all women the opportunity to bask in her magnificent story of a future designed by women. My mission is to tell you that women are here to lead differently to the manner that men have provided for leadership over more than 2000 years and welcome them to join us.

I believe her hesitation was heavily influenced by the current political and media focus on the LGBTQ+ movement — the emphasis on transgender and gender neutrality that saturates decisions such as Disney removing “ladies and gentlemen … boys and girls” from their lexicon declaring that by the end of this year, 50% of all films they produce will be politically correct (PC) with LBGTQ+ and non-binary characters having roles in them.

Political representatives are now directing their constituents to say “pregnant people” rather than pregnant females/women as well as addressing females as “menstruating people” and U.S. passports will no longer have “mother” and/or “father” … they will have “Parent One” and “Parent Two.” I am also very dismayed that there are those who feel that 6-year-olds in many states in USA should be given lessons on sexual identity more forcibly than lessons on love and relationships.

If this confused state of being is all about the stigma of stereotypes and bias that have caused damage, I do not think that removing a ‘label’ such as ‘woman’ or ‘mom and dad’ helps us understand ourselves better. Labels are only negative if you make them so and lay that negative perception on the person simply to damage them. If labels describe something we wish to share and it’s acceptable, it should be lovingly included in the flow of every situation. "We are each unique - just like everyone else" Tuning into differences is key to a happier world rather than the censored controlled world we fear if we continue our cultural quarrels!

I would like to share my life experience to add to the knowledge and feelings you may have about today’s confusion. I hope, using our natural wisdom and imagination, we can find a way through this together and evolve to a better healthier more inclusive loving outcome for humanity.

As a young girl, aged 6 in the early 1950s, London, England, I was privileged to have a loving suburban environment with family and friends … a safe environment that existed with no internet, social media, and global noise. This was post World War II Britain and I was not aware of the pressure cooker my parents and grandparents had lived through. We were Caucasian middle-class British Catholics, and neither of my parents (yes, it was PC to call them parents) came from wealth, but neither were they poor. My father worked hard and had little formal education, yet he was so smart in my eyes. The School of Hard Knocks (otherwise known as LIFE) and his service in the British Army in WW2 were his teachers and he grew profoundly through life’s experience during those years. He had a deep sense of responsibility and was a little traditional regarding the freedom that many women gained during those same years. No airs or graces! We were taught simple yet authentic family values about family love, and each of us were encouraged to be ourselves — each allowed to be individuals with natural gifts to share.

My sister and I were not the same type of female in terms of natural gifts. She was a linguist … a soft sensitive female, while I, on the other hand, found math easy and was a more adamant, logical female. Our upbringing was very similar in that we were both sent to ballet and we both attended a local Catholic school. We excelled in different ways — both young females yet different. Beyond that we both grew up heterosexual.

Maybe in a session titled “You Can Be Any Gender or Sex You Like”, I might feel I am not female enough (translation: feminine) to be considered a woman by standards in effect today … characteristics believed to be those of all females. This is, however, where the water starts to get muddy!

I might have misinterpreted my boyish behaviors — logic, climbing trees, playing football as well as dancing freedom, with a three-dimensional talent and an emotionally closed attitude — for not being a budding woman as I grew up. I had two brothers, both different. The older one was an action-oriented, competitive masculine male, while the other was tranquil, more sensitive, favoring more abstract pursuits. We all developed a wise notion of love be it in a traditional sense, building relationships with good grace and favor.

As I became aware regarding whether sexual love was for either the opposite or the same gender, I saw all variations as naturally unfolding and, if present in an open-hearted broad-minded community, people’s choices could be accepted — after all we were all human being with a capacity to love.

Sadly, throughout my life of meeting so many amazing diverse human beings, it became obvious to me that our current history of social mores, norms, and stereotypes — formed primarily by parental and religious parental values — have fiercely been opposed to love between same genders, and individuals have been denied the freedom to choose and oppressed for that which is their natural sexuality and identity.

The pendulum has now swung 180° in the opposite direction, and the flood gates have been opened. Confusion is being misinterpreted as concession and the ongoing debate of human rights is raging. Be assured, I am delighted the conversations and choices are becoming more freely discussed. It has, however, taken an extreme leap when the choice of being a biological woman is neither easily identified nor honored. I am a woman. Why would my being a mother need to be replaced with a “birthing person”.

Puberty is a very confusing time for all kids. Understanding sexuality is important of course yet without connecting this subject with the natural laws of love, emotional kindness and consciousness of the goodness of life, we can turn choices in the young mind that will not suit the body it is growing into. The natural flow of life informs us. I found puberty totally scary and yet I survived.

Looking back, I would have loved someone to really explain love and emotions to me! I discovered this by default from experience and later by studying and learning about emotional intelligence. Finally, I learned from my own research exploring how our differences factor together. This led me throughout decades and many experiences in life, business, and love. As I moved forward, I studied everything about how conversations can fall into arguments, hate bullying, and eventually wars, and especially how different the world would be designed by woman over the last 2000 years!

I perhaps grew up late in life, however I believe I am here after 7 decades to experience current affairs to be exactly where I am meant to be. I feel this is true for many women even though we have gained many victories in the equality battle. We are only now coming into our own authentic power, as we recognize we are a member of the biggest marginalized group in history...

And hey … women are not all the same, but we are different to men for sure, neurologically, biologically, and physically. The penis and the womb understand this. Sexuality and sexual preferences may influence our identity, however these aspects are in addition to the core of who we are as men and women, as males and females … a combination of masculine and feminine energy. And young women, Gen X, Gen Y, Millennials and now Gen Z will have different perspectives to share about a woman's lens on the world. I want to hear your views. This is your future. My daughter and granddaughter have differing views - yet we all hold the custody and responsibility for a world in need of nurturing. A woman's touch.

Today, in the pandemic COVID ridden economic chaos, I bear my service to all woman and men who care. In my 70s, I am privileged to be excited and scared about what happens next. I am a silver haired, baby boomer, British (half Maltese) mother, grandmother, businesswoman, entreprenologist, ambassador of magical conversations. I don’t work for anyone. I am self-employed. I attract my tribe of wise men and women of all sexual preferences and identities, cultures, ages and personalities.

I have a mission to bring a new narrative into existence that uses the best of the past, releases the worst, and co-creates a landscape that is designed for women and men to share. Unfortunately, we don’t have that yet!

I realized recently that COVID is a blessing in disguise as it caused us … the world … to pause and look around us. I know that EQUALITY has done much for women so far but NOW we need HARMONY as we embrace a new landscape. The future will be female led and we will embrace a new landscape where we invite men to play a new game. Everything in my life — good and bad — has brought me to this point in time to be part of this legacy I have been given to share with you. I need to make my voice loud and clear. I am not afraid to tell you I am afraid of the confusion clouding our view — that of a female vision for a fair and opened hearted future that suits our life journey!

My nature, as an eclectic collaborator, educator, magician, and very logically driven masculine minded female, has taught me more during COVID than the rest of my life and helped me recognize that the world calls for women to lead rather than play that same old game we all grew up with.

Studying the territory where women have fought to gain equality, I sense in my female heart, as a mother, grandmother, adventurer, seeker, and educator, that I must share and take your rebuttal if you chose to critique me. I am not emotionally attached to your judgement.

Among other things, I am the self-appointed Ambassador of Magical Conversations where I seek harmony and encourage magical conversations to occur without judgment and without anger. I am eager to know your experiences and I promise to listen with passion, an open heart, an open mind where together we might find harmony. Are you with me so far? If not, there may be no reason to read on.

There is a lot swirling around in the public arena aiming to eradicate the notion of woman while neutralizing gender. As mentioned earlier, Disney is making a concerted effort to eliminate terms such as ladies and gentlemen as well as boys and girls even though they have always hailed themselves as a family-oriented enterprise. This then — in my opinion — is a very troubling change of direction.

The idea of replacing commonly used nouns and pronouns with such phrases as pregnant persons, birthing persons, first parent, second parent or even dreamers of all ages is somewhat silly in my opinion or perhaps even borderline insanity in some cases. What, of any real value, is going on and what is the true cost of the prevailing alternative?

The notion of classes on sexual identity for kindergarten and very young children seems genuinely absurd. Teenage years is a more appropriate age. In all age classes, couldn’t we offer curricula on understanding values such as love, respect, and honest life principles? In the truest spirit of inclusion, I embrace all who are on this journey we refer to as life whether male or female, boys or girls be they LBGTQ or +. We are all in the same circle of life that we breathe every day.

Women have a natural and-and way of relating. I have no issue with any variations of sexuality and identity. It’s not an “either/or” perspective. I’m a woman!

I know the solution to any prejudices will be found if we understand, accept, and communicate our natural differences — sexual, behavioral, and emotional — without justification to others but with authentic acceptance and loving kindness.

I do have a problem with toxic behaviour, toxic words, deeds, and anyone who damages another human being … similarly with someone who forces status against another person’s will. Unfortunately, toxic behavior can be dispensed by all sexual variations and all preferences, especially when social pressures appear to marginalize one.

I have learned so much throughout my life, usually through making mistakes and acknowledging myself when I accomplish matters of importance. Evaluating myself, listening to others, recognizing that I have been thoughtless and/or judgmental, becoming overly concerned about what others think of me and not having the courage to stand my ground, has led me to a higher level of consciousness and awareness which is the hallmark of this age of energy and flow. I am upset that newly appointed Justice Judge Jackson was unwilling to voice her definition — or just a definition — of the word woman with the grace, intelligence, and elegance I believe she contributes personally and professionally in a world designed by men.

Let us explore the confusion through my eyes. You may agree or disagree — your experience matters not your judgement. I desire you to be your BEST...

Everyone is born with chromosomes … threadlike structures of nucleic acids and protein found in the nucleus of most living cells, carrying genetic information in the form of genes. There is a basic biology that sets a starting point. Gender definition (from google dictionary) is that a baby is one of two sexes — male and female. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female.

As each baby continues to grow and mature, their sexual preferences and identities as a male or female grows with them. Exploring the combinations of chromosomes, nature, and patterns of growth, we seem — as a society — to have polarized the beauty of nature and birth into a gender neutrality that is alarming and confusing. It appears to me that, in a race to become politically correct, self-appointed authorities, in general, and powerful economic forces are demanding we change labels (male, female, man, woman, boys, girls etc.) and replace those we are most familiar with, to yet other labels which are rapidly becoming a new language entirely. Why do we eliminate the labels like woman, man, girl or boy simply to replace them with yet other labels? They say, “You must not label,” and yet we do precisely that merely by substituting one word with a new one. There seems to be no end to the new labels that find their way into the lexicon every day … labels cheered by the universities and professors creating them.

On our CHI (Corporate Heart International) map, Gender Dynamics Intelligence (GDI) we find EVERYONE is somewhere because it is the circle of life...(our LBGTQ Non-Binary love the inclusivity of this) ...and our mission is to enable you to create narratives that work! Between different archetypes and variations of those archetypes by preferences and circumstances, people explore the topics currently so caught up in misunderstandings and blind spots. Understanding how your words and deeds are received is key to co-creation in any generation when it comes to your identity.

All human beings are born biological males or females or, in a very small number of cases, a biological combination of both. That is the base nature of all human beings. The nurturing process takes up its role through parents, siblings, environments, cultures and all influences that embraces. We all live within the circle of life that we refer to as humanity. It would appear to me that the problems arise when we distinguish and control gender preferences by religious law or — in the not-too-distant past — federal law or controlled education (schools and/or parents and/or church leaders) and decide what is acceptable or unacceptable. It is the priority given to marginalized groups that concerns me as we overlook the biggest marginalized group — women.

I sense fear in the toxic masculine male as he clings tenaciously to power. I am also frustrated with those women who support the status quo and watch as their powers are marginalized or even eliminated in favor of gender neutrality. Why do we not want to recognize females or women having life experiences — biological, hormonal, emotional, menstrual, and neurological — that shape our life journey? What variations we are facets of our human impact on others. Whether one is straight, lesbian, bi, trans or non-binary, surely being female (being a woman) — being a male (being a man) — or anywhere in between — is part of who we are “and-and” all other labels.

Being a Trans means choosing another gender i.e., male or female … so why call this gender neutral? A gay man is one who loves and prefers intimacy with another man. A lesbian is a female who loves and prefers intimacy with another women. A non-binary human being embraces both male and female and all points in between; the emotional life identity choices we make about all preferences — natural, sexual, and behavioral — are at the core of this current confusion.

Surely if we truly love unconditionally, and without prejudice, there are no divisions. If, however, we love unconditionally, in my experience we need to love and honor differences that are the magic of our individuality.

The quest for me is to maximize the value of differences and diverse preferences rather than marginalize anyone or any group.

My background is that I majored in Sociology and Statistics at University way back before most of you were born in 1967–70! I study demographics and here the mystery of today’s confusion is highlighted to me.


The most marginalized demographic on a global level is women of all preferences, types, shapes and sizes.

We make up approximately 50% of the global population and work force (and a very talented %!!). Within this demographic, there are subgroups of women that are more marginalized than others … women of color being the most noted. There are subgroups marginalized through religious controls on girls and women, through traditional financial limitations on women, through abuse by men which includes such things as rape, domestic violence, etc. Within this same biological category are lesbians who are women, and transgender who are biologically men opting to become women and finally there are straight women who love men. Women give birth through their womb … something that a transgender woman will never have.

I love the authentic trans woman. We have Catlin Jenner to thank for bringing common sense into why transwomen should not compete in women’s sports. She is a genuine transwoman in much the same way that Chaz Bono is a transman.

So why does all this matter?

The world is need of a great deal of TLC (if you are not sure what that stands for, ask a woman) … the world needs a new game plan, a new narrative, a new chance to not merely survive, but to thrive!

The world economies were designed and controlled on male principles by men since the year dot…. and remain little changed at this time. Over the last century, however, an increasing number of women have managed to move into leadership and co-leadership roles, striving for equality brought women the vote and increasingly a place in business and society outside of the home. The world is evolving however, as already stated, it tends to remain on the path created centuries ago by men. The principles of commerce, economics, and societal stability -that have been rocked by women and the pandemic damage to life and living conditions — are in danger of collapse if things do not change substantially.

If we are to transform our world and create a more appropriate future, it must be initiated now! The time to play “Let’s wait and see” or “Don’t fix what ain’t broke” has long since passed. It’s time for the male elements of our world to accept and support that possibility that “The future is based on female led design” keeping men in mind and inviting all to a new game of life. This is not a takeover — more a strategic merger led by female creation and not overridden by sexuality or gender identity — a truly real synergy of all talents.

If women invite men to participate in this new game maybe titled Harmony Beyond Equality — and I am confident that wise men will be delighted — women have the professional capabilities and natural entrepreneurial talents to take the lead in a very natural “and-and” relational female style. No longer do women need to become a man to compete in the world if economies are structured by woman with men in mind. #MagicalConversations bring us together.

“The past is prologue.” ~ William Shakespeare from The Tempest ~

My proposal is to focus women on a future that is female-led, retaining the best elements of the past yet with women leading the creation the business landscape and narrative through the lens of their life journey rather than a man’s. This would embrace familial commitments, educational and care responsibilities, alongside economic, operational, and fiscal elements, in partnership with credible wise men who value emotional intelligence, love, kindness and compassion as a real synergy strategy for results both fiscal and interpersonal. These elements and more add will add to this female expansion plan to nurture business appropriately for today’s post pandemic world of fear and confusion.

Men have led for 2000+ years factoring in women as a resource suited solely as an adjunct and originally for taking care of the home and giving birth to heirs. Women are multi-talented, multi-tasking, family and business creators. It’s time to talk #authenticharmony for a future worth living for all #peopleplanetprosperitypeace.

“Men have been able to lead the world for centuries because they managed to marginalize the female resource, keeping them at home. Those days are now history and I agree that we must maximize rather than marginalize … for the future is female.” ~ Dr. James A. Omps — President, International University of Entreprenology

Dr Pauline Crawford , Ambassador of Magical Conversations

Chief Vision Officer of Corporate Heart International


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